There is no sun for me

When I watched this video, it hit home for me.
 I have been keeping myself beyond busy so I don't have to think about how my heart aches.  He is gone! He won't even speak to me. Apparently, I hurt his ego.
He came back into my life after 15 years! yes, 15.
Long ago, he crushed me.  1994 to be exact ....Utterly crushed me. After dating through out college the love of my life, he crushed me for another girl that came along. He ended up marrying that girl, and she did to him what he did to me. {karma I do believe}

I disappeared. Went into hiding, my life, my heart, Me. hiding
fast forward 15 years
I came out of hiding, he found me..... I live in Chicago, he lives in California.  He wrote a 2 page apology for what he did so long ago, and told me I was the one that got away.

 I forgave him.

we talked nightly
we went to wine country, Northern California which was fabulous.
he came to visit. I freaked out, he poured his heart out and how he has always loved me. again, i freaked out! closed my heart. I was scared.
We saw each other at Christmas, and it was awkward. I tried to open up but it was hard.

now he won't talk to me, says I hurt him. He used to read and comment on my blog, he supported me. now nothing. I don't know if he still reads my blog, he is silent. gone. won't return my calls or emails.
gone.

This video made me cry. I have no sun!
G-I am sorry. xc


KATIE HERZIG & MATTHEW PERRYMAN JONES "WHERE THE ROAD MEETS THE SUN" (LIVE) from SITUATION OPERATION on Vimeo.